Marriage

COVENANT OF LOVE STEPS

Step 1: Meet with your Pastor
When: BEFORE you set a wedding date.
After you become engaged, you should contact your pastor right away to set up a meeting. During this initial meeting, the pastor can determine if both parties are free to marry or impediments exist that need to be addressed. He will also provide you with the information you need to complete Steps 2-6 of your marriage preparation process. Setting a schedule to complete the individual components during or shortly after this meeting is strongly advised.

Step 2: Marriage Preparation Inventory
When: As soon as possible after meeting with your pastor.
After meeting with your pastor, you will complete a marriage preparation inventory, which is a series of questions designed to assess each of your habits, expectations, and values. Your answers are then scored and will provide you with a personalized profile of your relationship's strengths and weaknesses. The inventory is an important starting place for couple discussion and a map of what issues need time and attention, affirmation, or problem solving. Here at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, the Marriage Preparation Inventory is called the FOCCUS Assessment. It is offered on the third Wednesday of each month at 7pm in the Annex. You MUST meet with the priest PRIOR to taking the FOCCUS.

Step 3: Married Life Skills Training
When: Seven to eight months before the wedding.
In addition to a marriage prep inventory, you will complete an educational component designed to fine tune practical skills such as conflict resolution, decision-making, financial management, and communication. This will build on the knowledge you gained from your marriage inventory. There are various educational programs available in the diocese, with formats varying from a weekend retreat to multiple evening meetings. Your priest or deacon can help you select the program that best fits your needs. “The following educational programs can help you obtain the practical marriage building skills you need to fulfill Step 3. Several options for this step are provided by the parish and/or Diocese of Phoenix. Parish Course – Our Lady of Mt. Carmel offers our own Marriage Life Skills course, with mentor couples from the parish. This course is entitled Unitas and meets for 7 consecutive Friday evenings in the Preschool Building from 7-9pm. The Unitas program gives you the opportunity to discuss practical areas of marriage in a small group setting with married couples in different stages of life. “Love for Life Engaged Weekend - This Diocesan Friday night/Saturday course is offered at the Diocesan Pastoral Center in downtown Phoenix. Similar in its topics, and with expert presenters, this weekend provides a comprehensive and focused opportunity to enter honest and intense dialogue with your fiancée. Registration available online.” “Engaged Encounter - This full Saturday/Sunday overnight weekend provides another wonderful retreat-like opportunity to engage in dialogue and hear from wise married couples living their sacrament. Topics are similar to the other options.”

Step 4: God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage
When: Six to eight months before the wedding.
God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage is a program designed to get everyone on the same page spiritually. The program is based on John Paul II's "Theology of the Body" and it will teach you not only what the Church teaches about marriage and sexuality, but why she teaches it. This will prepare you to live married life as God intends.

Step 5: Natural Family Planning Instruction
When: Four to six months before the wedding.
To ensure you have the tools to plan your family effectively and in accord with God’s plan for marriage, you will have the opportunity to learn about Natural Family Planning by taking a full course in an approved NFP method. The diocese has classes scheduled in over 30 locations in the diocese. To search for classes by city, parish or NFP method and to register for classes on-line, please visit the Office of NFP website: www.phxnfp.org

Step 6: Sacrament of Reconciliation
When: Before the wedding, as necessary.
The Church invites all Catholics to prepare themselves spiritually prior to their marriage through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Obviously, this step is not required but is encouraged.

Step 7: Final Meeting with your Pastor
When: Four to six weeks before the wedding.
Those working with you in your parish will help you prepare the liturgy for your wedding day, which will start you on the road to a lifetime of marriage. Have your questions ready!